Riding the Roller Coaster...

The last few days have been a roller coaster of highs and lows. This past weekend was great. Saturday our entire team hikes to the giant cross on a big hill on the outskirts of Lima. To get there, we took what should've been a 30 minute taxi ride (but our driver got lost)...that was an adventure in itself because there were six of us, not counting the driver, in the taxi...you guessed it, no seat belt laws here! The cross is situated in a poorer section of Lima, which can mean more danger. We felt very safe, though, because three friends from "The Community" (a home where a local pastor helps people get back on their feet, so to speak...but not really just that, hard to explain in email) accompanied us.

It was quite the hike (I felt like I was training for the Grand Canyon again), but it was worth it. Although the day was overcast, so we couldn't get the full of Lima like we had hoped for, it was still breath-taking to be up there, breathing in the fresh air, getting even a glimpse of the vastness of the city. One ironic observation of the day: on the side of the mountain that the cross is on, "Peru Moderno" (Modern Peru) is spelled out in rock or something like that. The sign is directly above a very poor part of Lima...a very crazy combination to see.

Saturday night we helped out with "Coffee House". Craig (one of the staff here) has a roommate, Marco. At the church they both attend, Marco helps to organize an event called "Coffee House". At Coffee House, Peruvians learning English come to practice their converstaion skills (which, I've learned since trying to learn a new language myself, is vital). Saturday's topic was food, so we talked about different food things for a while before reading the story about Jesus feeding the 5000. Mark & Aaron (two of my teammates) and myself were in charge of the advanced table, which, thankfully, meant that our people knew how to speak English really well, so we didn't have to struggle with our Spanish much. The funniest part of the evening was teaching them some slang words and phrases, like "awesome" and "here we go". Gives me a whole new appreciation for how hard English would be to learn.

Sunday, after my favorite lunch of green noodles with meat (which I will learn to make before I leave here, so ask me to make it in Omaha sometime), I finally made it to the ocean. Five weeks I have been wanting to go! Monica and I walked there. We didn't make it down to the beach, but rather, looked at the ocean from some cliffs overlooking. The ocean view from Lima isn't the prettiest I've ever seen, but there is just something abou the ocean that is good for my soul. I love watching the waves, listening to the roar. When I'm at the ocean, I feel like I really understand the scriptures that talk about how nature testifies to the existence and glory of God! I plan on visiting the ocean as much as I can while I'm here.

Monday at Casa Job, the roller coaster took a turn for the worse. We learned that Freddy, one of our favorite kids here, was taken to jail over the weekend, probably for stealing. No one knows, yet, what will happen with him. If he'll be in for a long time (the jail and justice system here is so unpredictable...makes me very thankful to live where I do in terms of the justice system we have in the US).

News like that is a slap to my face of the reality of the lives of the youth that we work with here. Yes, many of them are thieves. Many are addicted to glue and "pasta" (a form of cocaine). Some work as prostitutues. Many have children. But I don't know them as these things. I know them as friends. I know them as people who have great senses of humor, who likek to play soccer, cards, fooseball and checkers. I know them as people who have a great capacity to love a bunch of Amiercans who can't really speak the language and will be leaving in 3 months.

This brings up all sorts of questions in my mind, like where is the line between justice and grace for these kids? Why did they have to be born into lives that seem to leave few options ofther than the lives they are living right now? What does God have planned for these youth? What does God call all of us to do in response? Of course, none of these questions have easy answers, which is part of my angst here. I hate not having an answer, as many of you may know. I feel rather uncomfortable with this "gray" area that I often find myself in here.

Today was another rather frustrating day that caused me to ask a lot of questions. I think I may have mentioned in an earlier journal entry that one day each week we visit a home called Generacion. Here, about 70 kids who would otherwise probably be living on the streets, have a home. I aloways have a hard time at Generacion for several reasons. First, we are only there for a couple hours a week, so building relationships comes very slowly. Second, there is no strucutre there, which I thrive on. I find that it's especially hard to not have structure when you don't speak the language. Third, the need there is often overwhelming. Every time I go, I am bombarded with requests for money, clothing, shoes, my watch...you name it, the kids there have asked me for it. I don't blame them for asking for these things. If I were in their spot, I would probably do the same thing. I just don't know how to answer their requests, how to handle the big eyes pleading for so much more than just my watch or my shoes. I know that what these kids really need is for someone to love them. I want to be able to o that, but I feel so incredibly inadequate all of the time.

That seems to be a reoccuring theme in my life since I've arrived here: feeling inadequate. I don't know the language and feel like I will never catch on. I don't play soccer, which is everywhere. I don't have a way with kids. I can't play guitar. I could continue the list on for pages, but there's no need for that. I feel like one of the lessons I am learning on this trip is that I are inadequate, without God. I never will be good enough for this world, but, praise God, that doesn't really matter. I'm excited to see where this lesson leads in the next 2.5 months.

Sorry for the "heavy" entry this time. Really, things are still going great here and I can't imagine beingn anwhere else right now. Just thought it would be good to balance the "good times" with the "bad times" in this journal. Thanks, again, for all your thoughts and prayers. I am so blessed by each and every one of you!